why do i make irresponsible choices?

I am so bad with money. I'm so annoyed with myself for spending carelessly and not keeping track of how much money is being wasted on ridiculous and unnecessary things. I suppose I'm spending more now because I have a somewhat steady income, but a lot of times I just use my card, which means I'm never actually seeing numbers. Which THEN means that I'm over-spending! When I see the amount of money that I spend buying food, I am shocked. Why am I spending so much on food when I am provided with a lot of free food here??

I am putting myself on a budget - something I should have done a long time ago. I think a good method will be to take out a certain amount of cash for a specified time period and use only that. Otherwise, the rest of the money needs to stay in the bank. It is so important that I save, especially since I'm hoping to move somewhat soon! And moving is expensive. Blaaaah.

Money is such a blessing and a curse.

meaningful

Today I was invited in.

And though I move forward with caution, I'm happy to be moving forward :)

haha

I got into the van with one of my girls yesterday to grab some food. I turned the car on and she asked, "Kara, what is that red picture of a dog with a ball on its back?" She had to ask again before I understood what picture she was talking about. Haha, I explained to her that it is a picture of a person with an deployed airbag. Cuteness.

updates

1.
Often, I'd rather choose to be alone, but I always walk away feeling so blessed and encouraged after spending time with friends.

2.
The movie Inception was FANTASTIC. Go see it.

3.
My best friend from Hillview is leaving...I hope to be joining her soon in WA, but I know it will be very hard being here without her.

4.
I would stay in CA a little longer than necessary to watch the Chargers play another (at least the first part of the) seaon. Ridiculous? I say not.

5.
I am addicted to a word game on my phone, giving up sleep to play "just one more time!"

6.
I freaking haaaaaaaaaaaaate the heat.

7.
I leave for the Bahamas in one week. I am excited, but anxious to fly across the country and stay for two weeks in a place I've never visited before. Eeek.

8.
I've been watching way too many creepy shows on television...Fatal Attraction, True Crime, I Almost Got Away with It, Deadly Women. The stories are SO intriguing, but definitely don't help my paranoia.

9.
Looking for jobs is annoying and discouraging.

10.
How can someone be so discontent, yet so unmotivated to do anything about it?

11.
Shutter Island - also a good movie that I highly recommend.


I miss you


I miss you


I will really miss you

give me Jesus

Aaaaaaaaah I'm so sick. I freaking hate being sick. It makes me grouchy and tired and achy...not a good combination when you're taking care of six kids.

I had a sweeeeeeeeet day off yesterday and spent it all with good friends. I slept in (always a good start to the day) and took my sweet time getting ready. Steph and I and another co-worker are house-sitting for some friends, so we hung out there in the afternoon. It was relaxing to hang out in a nice air-conditioned house with good people and good food.



Steph looks so cute in this picture




A group of nine of us went to Rock Harbor in Fullerton in the evening. It was SO good and SO refreshing. The pastor talked about going to God with our problems instead of consulting everyone else first and then asking the Lord for his blessing. The pastor asked us what we needed deliverance from and encouraged us to seek God. It was very revealing of my self-reliant attitude.

Afterwards, we went to a coffee shop and sat at a table, talking for a couple hours. I loved it.

ouch

The following picture is proof of the careless neglect of my body for which no one but I, am responsible for:



Weird. I guess sunscreen IS useful.

surfing and sunburns

Kristen and I went to the beach today. It was freaking HOT when we left Chino and still freaking hot when we got to the beach. However, I was surprised to find that the water was freeeeeezing cold...numbingly cold. Of course, we have picture documentation.

There was only a narrow strip of dry sand because the tide was coming in (important information, I know)


Kristen being a pro on the board


A must-see...


Though it LOOKS as though I am naked, I am, in fact, not. We were stuck in lots of traffic


A freak thunderstorm hit soon after we got back to Chino...while it was still 95 degrees out. We got a quick glimpse of a faint rainbow...so pretty!


Then we went to see Despicable Me...a good movie, though there were several parts I might have left out had I had a say in the production of it.


Oh, and we don't have pictures of this, but both of us got RIDICULOUS sunburns. It feels like my thighs are on fire. I wanted to get a tan before my vacation to the Bahamas at the end of this month, but ouuuuuuuuuuch. I look like a tomato. Oooh, the price we pay....

I'm on at 630am tomorrow, after not coming on until noon every other day this week. So goodbye and goodnight!

out of sorts

It's been a while since I've taken the time to write anything here. There have been many moments when I have sat down with the intention to update, but I feel like there are too many thoughts jumbling around in my mind to write anything coherent. I have been feeling out of sorts lately, having to force myself to do even the most simplest of tasks. Perhaps it is all the change I know is coming. Change is hard and though I look forward to what is to come, I really struggle with the process. Blech.

On another note, I had a good day with Steph, taking advantage of our day off together. We went to the Cabazon outlets and then baby-sat for a couple hours. Tess is presh. We met her parents while working at Hillview and enjoy spending time with them. She is probably one of the happiest babies I know...

writing this made me feel nauseous

I went to Balboa Beach yesterday with some friends. Though the pier was crazy crowded, the beach was surprisingly quiet. It was windy and cold when we got there, but it was nice to have pretty much no one around.

As soon as we got there, Steph and I set out to find a bathroom. There were none nearby. We walked for probably half an hour through residential streets before someone cleaning a private tennis club facility (who wouldn't let us use the restrooms because we weren't members), told us the nearest restrooms were seven blocks away. Seven blocks?? WTF. I was doing okay, but my poor friend was about to have an accident. So we walked and walked and walked (admiring all the INSANE houses along the way...one of which was only 2.6 million dollars), until finally getting to the pier. Then we find out that the power is out, meaning the toilets in the public restrooms that we walked forEVER to find, were all clogged. All of them. It was the nastiest, grossest thing ever.

But you gotta do what you gotta do. So we braved the unsanitary bathrooms and tried not to breathe. Blech.

I hope that wasn't too much information. The rest of the afternoon/evening was (thankfully) uneventful. We grilled some hamburgers and played games. We got all bundled up and watched a gorgeous sunset before heading out.

love it

Today was encouraging.

I had a really positive visit to the doctor's office this morning. Everyone working there was so friendly and genuinely interested, even the receptionists who were even asking about my job! I got in quickly and the doctor was great. After listening and looking over me, the doctor believed my dizziness to be caused by congestion in my head. There didn't appear to be any neurological complications (yay!) and my heart seemed healthy (yay!), so I'm just waiting to hear back from my bloodwork results. The doctor prescribed a decongestant, along with the antibiotics I'm taking. I was very relieved to know that my dizziness was not being caused by something serious.

I spent the rest of the day with my girls, as it was my last time being a houseparent in Snyder. We went to a huge pool, complete with slides and tons of grassy space. The sun was out and we had the beautiful mountains in the background. The girls had a great time and I really enjoyed spending that time with them.

And now, I'm off. Getting off at 915pm is always a good thing.

Today = goodness








PS: Here is what happened close to midnight this evening...