Monday, May 31, 2010

memorial day

Every year, Hillview celebrates Memorial Day with an outrageous carnival. This includes a petting zoo, bounce houses, endless amounts of food, games and prizes. The kids love it because people from the community come and they also can invite family and friends from school. Last year, we had about 1,200 people visit during the carnival and I can't imagine that number being any less today. It's cool for staff too, because we get to hang out with each other and a lot of times, kids who have left Hillview will come back to visit. It is always interesting to find out how kids are doing after they leave Hillview. I had a good time today and it made me happy to see my girls having such a good time too.

I love this picture




Two of my fantastic co-workers


In the evening, while the girls were watching a movie, I found this card next to the sink in the kitchen. It was from one of the girls I really enjoy and I was so encouraged by it! She usually doesn't do things like this for staff, which made it extra special.

The front of the card


Haha, she started coloring, but didn't get around to finishing it


The card wrote:

Dear staff,
You guys are so cool. I really enjoy hanging out with you guys. Well, I can't wait til Memorial Day on Monday. Ya, well I love you all.


So simple, but so precious. It must sound like I'm making a big deal out of such a small thing, but I have to hold on to these good moments! It helps me get through the not-so-good ones :)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

encouragement

Yesterday, I went down to Oceanside to visit my grandparents and was also able to spend some time with my sister. It was an encouraging day of being reminded that I am loved, especially with the belated birthday celebration.

Enjoying the ocean view...I think


Kristen working the catwalk


B.E.A.UUUUUUUUUUUTIFUL in Oceanside


Here is Kristen being a whiny baby...enjoy


Kicking butt on the Wii

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

i ♥ babies

I was off yesterday and took advantage of my free time to see the movie, Babies! I LOVED it. The babies were just so freaking cute. I suppose it would be a boring movie for people that don't think babies are the best thing in the world, as there is no narration or storyline. The movie is simply about watching four babies from around the world during their first year of life. It was interesting to see the differences of lifestyles and cultures between the four countries as the families raised their children.

My favorite baby was Bayar, from Mongolia:



Isn't he cute? Mmmm, yay for babies and for people who make movies about babies.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

of spontaneity

I wanted to get a second hole pierced in my ears today, so I did. Steph and I were working, so we took three girls to the mall and walked around for a couple hours before heading into Icing. I made Stephanie go first because I was being a huge baby and even after I saw her get it done, I was still being ridiculous.

When I was around 7 years old, my mom took me to get my ears pierced with my sister, aunt and cousins. It was a Christmas gift to me and I was incredibly excited. However, we got to Claire's and I completely wussed out. I paced back and forth in the store, wanting so badly to get my ears pierced, but being so afraid of the expected pain. I cried a lot. But even after all those tears, I did it!

Turns out, in both situations, the anticipation of pain was waaaaay worse than the actual pain itself. In fact, I wouldn't even call it pain. It's more like a quick sting and then it goes away. Wah. All this to say, I am SUCH a baby. I'm so thankful for friends that make do things I'm too afraid to do on my own.


Friday, May 21, 2010

you will be missed

My grandma died today...about an hour ago. I had been anticipating this phone call, but even though I knew it was coming, it was hard to hear. It took a little while for it to set in that she was gone and I sat in silence before briefly allowing my emotions to be set free.

And then, they went back into hiding.

I hate emotions.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

lookie

So, I've been working on a video for a couple weeks now, whenever I've had some free time. My sister introduced me to video editing and I enjoy it. I like the idea of putting a project together and remembering moments with a video. The downside is that I am a perfectionist, so it takes me foreeeeeever to make everything look exactly the way I want.

Anyway, here is my first video.



On another note, Julianne left yesterday:(

We spent all day together and then I dropped her off at the airport for a red eye flight. It's already too quiet in my lonely room, but I will see her again in a couple months (for the Bahamas, woohoo!). I'm hoping to put up some info and pictures tomorrow. We did a LOT of things in one week...you gotta check it out!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

still here!

It's been a while since my last blog post, but I have a good excuse. My sweet friend from Taylor/Michigan has been visiting me all week! Here's the proof:





Julianne and I have been running around non-stop, cramming a bunch of activities and trips into one week. It's been crazy, but so fun.

More to come later :)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

i finished my book

I absolutely LOVE reading Jodi Picoult books. I got hooked when my supervisor gave me one of Picoult's books for my birthday last year. This author writes about heart-wrenching situations that really force me to wonder what I would do in the situations she creates. I know I sound like a nerd, but I have gotten so emotionally involved in these books! Picoult deals with tough situations of morality, of character and of justice.

I am proud to show off my stack of ten books that have been read and loved.



I just finished reading The Pact. Ugh. I could hardly read the book without getting tears in my eyes. It talks of the deep and pure love between a boy and a girl, never having known themselves without the other. They grow up together and become romantically involved when they are young teenagers. The girl ends up getting pregnant and is devastated with the thought of failing to live up to the high expectations of her parents and is terribly afraid to tell the boy. She becomes obsessed with ideas of suicide, living in so much agony that death seems the only way out. She pleads with the boy to help her die. He doesn't want to do it, but sees that it is the only thing that will make her happy. He notices she is more afraid with the idea of staying alive than she is with the act of dying. He brings her a gun. She can't do it herself, claiming to be too cowardly, and begs him to do it for her. She helps him raise the gun to her head, but he refuses to pull the trigger. She puts her hand over his and helps him fire the shot that kills her.

Ugh. Heavy stuff.

The other part of the book is about the boy being on trial for first-degree murder.

SPOILER ALERT [but I'm assuming no one will read this book, so I will continue]...

The jury finds the boy not guilty of Murder One. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief here, and now I expect the boy to go back home and all to be well again. No. He goes back home but things just are not the same, and never will be, without the girl. There is no color in his world, no life in his bones, no motivation. He has lost the love of his life - the only love he has ever known, and he goes on living, all the while knowing things will never ever be the same.

I have to remind myself that this is a fictional book, in the hopes that I don't stay awake all night dwelling on the sadness of it. I suppose the author did her job, though. She made me go "awww" and "hmmm." I felt like I went through the entire spectrum of emotions and I walked away wondering, "What would I do in that situation?"

This is a long post for just a book. But a GOOD book :)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

oh, here it comes

Yes, here it comes. The time of the month when my emotions are out of control and I'm just not myself. The time of the month I must put on hold any decisions that need to be made because they will be controlled by irrational reasoning and unstable feelings. Aaah, isn't it just great being a female?

All that being said (is it even appropriate to talk about that on here?), I have been thinking a lot about my near future and what is next step looks like for me. Recently, I've more seriously considered going back to school. I'm leaning towards school psychology or guidance counseling, but I've only done minimal research on that. And I'm not about to pour thousands more dollars into grad school if I'm not mostly sure that I will take advantage of my Masters degree. Ugh. Freaking decisions. I've never been good at decision-making. I remember my dad being so annoyed when I couldn't even choose a restaurant for dinner. It's exciting to think of going back to school, but it also adds one more option to what my future could potentially look like. That equals more stress.

Stress is no bueno.

So, while adding the idea of going to grad school, I'm also trying to figure out where I want to live after Hillview. So. Many. Options. I have friends in Indiana, Michigan, South Carolina, and (soon to be) in Washington. I am thrilled to get out of California and try something new, but where?!

I want God to be ahead of me in this process because it's obvious that I can't do it alone. I'm praying for guidance and people who will help give me direction and insight. I'm looking forward to what my future holds and even in this frustrating time of possible transition, I am optimistic.

Good things are yet to come.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

blah blah blah

Today was one of those days where I woke up thinking, "I can't wait until today is over." Well, here I am. The day is over and I'm almost okay with how it went. I just finished working 50 hours in four days and am really looking forward to my next two days off.

This is the most boring, pointless blog post. I don't really have anything else to say. I guess after fifteen hours, my brain is too tired to say something worthwhile. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a profound insight to share that will make my blog even slightly worth reading.