look at my pictures

Pictures from Thanksgiving!

traffic: stuck in


Starbucks: demolished


doggy: loved on


ridiculous picture of Kristen: taken


images of beauty: captured


trick: performed


cool: modeled


smiles: flashed


childhood game: played!

be thankful

Today I was thankful for many things.

My plan was to leave Hillview no later than 1130am to drive down to Escondido and spend Thanksgiving with my family. I was a little nervous about seeing my dad and Michelle, as I haven't spent a Thanksgiving with them in a long time, but I was also so happy to have been invited. I left at 1115am, which meant that I had time for Starbucks! I was secretly happy there wasn't milk in my fridge for cereal, because that means an excuse to buy Starbucks. Which leads me to being [thankful for Starbucks]. Yes, it's an expensive addiction, but how else am I supposed to live, people?! Starbucks gives me the caffeine high that gets me through long, stressful, ridiculous days at work.

As you can imagine, I was in a pretty good mood heading out of Chino. I have my coffee and left right on time. However, I was not even ten minutes into driving and was already in traffic. UGH. It was so slow, keeping me between 10-20mph and sometimes even at a dead stop. I drove a solid 15 miles in a little over an hour and calculated that to get to Escondido at this rate, and it was THREE more hours. I was [thankful for Shawn McDonald] keeping me company and encouraging me with some sweet music on my long drive.

So on and on I drove, until I started to smell something awful. I looked around and saw a ton of smoke coming from under my hood. I glanced at the temperature of the car and the gauge was all the way to the right, on HOT. Blaaaah!!!! I immediately pulled off from the freeway and put my hazards on as I sat on the shoulder and let my car cool down. At this point, I was feeling so frustrated and discouraged, assuming that I wouldn't make it down to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I called my dad to let him know what was going on and ask him what to do. He suggested calling roadside assistance and having them check out the car, with the possibility that I just need some water in the radiator to fix the problem. I got back on the freeway and got off on an exit to find a gas station that was easily visible for the roadside assistance people to find. After calling Progressive, the lady told me a tow truck will take me to an auto mechanic 1 mile down the road, who can then let me know further what is going on. Seriously?? I can just drive my car a mile down the road.

So I did. And I found out that the auto mechanic is closed...because it's Thanksgiving, DUH. I bet the tow truck would have just left me there, too. I called my dad again, feeling even more sad, and he suggested asking a guy at a gas station if maybe they could help me. My dad said to call back and let him know how things went...he was so helpful, making me so [thankful for my dad]. With all the ups and downs of my relationship with him, it makes me reallly emotional (in a good way) to say that I am thankful for him. I felt so encouraged by him and could really sense that he wanted to help me get down to Escondido. It was important to him that I make it and that gave me such an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love for him.

So, my next step was to find a random person who looked like they might know about cars. I felt awkward about approaching a stranger, but it was worth a try. I went to one gas station and the guy I asked had no idea. Fail. Dragging my feet, I got back on the road, headed in the direction of Hillview. Right before the next exit, I decided to give it one more try and found another gas station. I saw a guy putting water in his engine and figured that he probably knew how to help me. I felt like SUCH a stalker as I waited for him to finish with the water, calling a friend so I didn't look as much like a creepster as I felt. When he was done, I immediately went up to him.

"Sir, do you know much about cars? Smoke started coming out from under my hood and I don't know what to do. My dad thinks it has something to do with the radiator."

I was so happy to find out that this guy knew exactly what to do. First he said I needed water or a coolant, which (OH MY GOSH) I happened to have in my car. I had a jug of coolant that I had recently used and had never put back in my room. He put the coolant in and had me start the car so it would cycle through the engine, and then he added more. He explained to me exactly what the problem was and told me that if my temperature gets beyond 3/4, then I need to pull off on the side of the road. I was giddy with happiness and so so SO [thankful for this stranger], who knew exactly how to help me.

I had no problems during the rest of my drive down to Escondido. As I was thinking about the whole situation, I was so [thankful for God's provision and guidance]. At first, I was annoyed that I drove BACK a little ways before deciding to stop at another gas station, but I'm sure that God led me there. He led me to a man who was having the same problem and didn't mind taking some time out of his day to help a random girl who was clueless. And then to have the coolant randomly still in my car...SUCH a blessing. After feeling so sad and wanting to just go back to Hillview to have a pity party, I was incredibly encouraged by the goodness of God.

I had a good time with my dad, Michelle and my sister. I ate a late Thanksgiving lunch and watched television on my dad's new HUGE high definition tv...a retirement gift to himself. We played Racko, a fun game that we used to play all the time when Kristen and I were little. Kristen and I went on a walk with Michelle and Gracey, the doggy. In the evening, Michelle's friend came over and we watched Elf, which I loved because Will Ferrel is so freaking funny. I didn't get back to Hillview until 1130pm. I was SO tired, but content. It was a good Thanksgiving, with much to be thankful for.

good things

On Saturday, I spent time with Erin and it was SOOOOOOOOOOO good! We went to Rock Harbor on Saturday night (I wish I could go to church more often). I felt refreshed and it was good to be in community with people outside of Hillview. After church, we went out to eat and then spontaneously decided to go see a movie. Crazy, I know. Staying up late on a Saturday night to see a MOVIE! We're pretty wild. We saw Unstoppable with Denzel Washington...a movie that both of us definitely recommend. It's super intense the whole hour and a half AND it's based on a true story (and Denzel Washington is in it...who doesn't love that man?). I felt so happy and relaxed after spending time with Erin. We have plans to get a Christmas tree for her apartment on Monday...sooo excited!







I'm off today (yessssss). I went out with friends for lunch and then went to the doctor. I just got cleared for my shoulder injury, though it isn't completely healed. Hopefully that will happen in time. I also went in for a new injury...a ridiculous injury that I was hoping would heal on its own. I'm not even sure how it happened, but somehow my left pinky finger got hurt. It's painful to bend and straighten. I was nervous about it possibly being broken, but x-rays determined that there were no broken bones. The doctor gave me some anti-inflammation pills to take and a "cage" to wear so my finger wouldn't get jammed anymore. It's annoying that such a small part of my body can cause such an annoyance. Sheesh. It's true that you don't realize how much you use (and need) all of your limbs until they are gone. Or broken. Or injured.



Also, look at the sky outside. It looks so menacing and ominous. I love it.

do dah

I'm off this weekend!! Wahooooo! I never get both a Saturday and Sunday off. The only downside being that of course, THIS is the week that the Chargers play on Monday instead of Sunday. Mmmmm ah well (there's always something to complain about huh?).

I stayed up until 300am last night, mostly because I knew I could sleep in today. Which I did. I didn't get out of bed until noon. The rain made it easy to stay in bed that long...something I'd usually feel guilty for doing. I dragged myself out of my warm bed and got ready to head to the post office to mail an application for a job in Seattle. I got in my little green Saturn and had to jump start the battery because it had died overnight. As soon as I pulled out of the parking spot, my car died. Dang it! I started it again with the battery charger and it died AGAIN. This happened probably three or four times until my car actually stayed on (so bad for my battery, I know). But, I successfully made it to the post office to deliver my application and am now at Starbucks.

I would be in my room right now, except my television isn't working. This is the second time the cable has gone out and it's SO ANNOYING. The most annoying part is that it's working everywhere else on campus except in the cottage where I live! What the heck. And then, after I catch myself getting all mad, I realize how ridiculous I sound to get so annoyed about such a petty thing. It really does show how addicted I am to television. Maybe the cable going out is God's way of reminding me that there ARE other things more important in life.

So far, I've turned in two applications today, making that 12 total. It's hard to get the application process started, but now I've realized it's been really hard to patiently wait for a response. I wish the companies would at least send me an email saying that I have not been chosen, so at least I know they received my application and read it, you know? I really hope (and please join me in praying!) that I find a new job soon. I really am thankful that I have a steady income right now, to have a job while I'm searching for a new one. But I'm antsy for a change...really antsy. It's hard not to be checked out at work as I anxiously and impatiently wait for a new opportunity.

Stephanie, I'm coming! This process is just taking a little longer than expected. Remember me while you're frolicking around Washington and know that I'm ridiculously jealous of the forecast for snow!



Oh also, I just received $60 worth of pictures that I ordered from Snapfish a few days ago. But don't worry, I waited for a good deal and only paid $35. I am super stoked to finally have pictures again because I have missed being able to scrapbook. I made a scrapbook when I was 16, and it looks okay, but recently I have been obsessed with putting my pictures into books. It is relaxing and fun and rewarding to have books that I will never get tired of flipping through. I don't mind spending money on scrapbooking stuff because these books are something I will always have and always enjoy. Also, I don't have to be as mad about the cable being out because I have something else to occupy my time.

Okay, I'm going to eat my bagel. It's probably cold by now.

a day in the life

655am
Wake up and semi-consciously get dressed for work, which means throwing on basketball shorts and a sweatshirt.

715am
Walk across campus to cottage, helping the seven boys get ready for school. Play monopoly with two boys until school starts, spending most of the time acting as peace-keeper.

820am
Hooray!! Walk the boys down to the NPS school on campus with a little jump in my step, knowing I have a six hour break until school is over and I have to clock back on.

845am
Play volleyball with some of my co-workers, a good outlet for what can be a very stressful job. Exercising always makes me feel better (ha, I write that like I exercise all the time).

1030am
Head back to Hillview and shower. Grab some lunch and start to work on finishing an application, but instead find that watching shows on MTV is a more entertaining way to spend my time.

100pm
Wonder why I wasted so much time online when I could have been doing productive things. Lay down in my bed to read, but instead fall asleep until I have to get up and go back to work.

230pm
Clock on and head to cottage, waiting for the boys to return back from school.

238pm
Barely have time to put my purse down before I see a child trying to strangle another boy in a headlock. Pry him off and escort him outside, trying to have a conversation about why he made the choice to hurt another kid. Listen to him justify choking another kid and explain to him that in the "real world," he would be going to jail yaddya yaddya yaddya...stuff that goes in one ear and out the other.

400pm
Go outside with the kids for afternoon outside time, but when I walk through cottage, hear a screaming child...the same child that tried to choke a kid earlier. Roll my eyes as I walk down the hallway to be available in case the child becomes unsafe again. He does. So he is placed in a floor restraint, while struggling and screaming that he is going to kill me and the other staff that is holding him (along with some crude language thrown in, just for good measure). Get spit on. Get hit. Get kicked. Get called a multitude of demeaning and crude names that don't shock me anymore. Thankful for my job, but seriously?? Enough of this ridiculousness.

500pm
Transition the boys inside for dinner. Chaos.

630pm
Some shouting down the hallways, but the boys are now mostly calm and in good moods. Put on a movie for them to watch, while others play with their game systems. Counting down until bedtime.

800pm
It's here! Bedtime for the boys. Help get all the boys in bed, asking if they need anything. Two boys are really loud, bouncing around on their beds and taking forever to get settled in.

830pm
Quiet.

915pm
Tell the staff that even though the day sucked, we did great. Clock off and hope that all the chaos today means that maybe tomorrow will be better.

930pm
Get back to my room and hang out with co-workers/friends. Try to get to bed at a decent hour because tomorrow, I have to do it all again. Buuuuuut, I am lucky to have Saturday and Sunday off this week!! Looking forward to a weekend with no screaming children or getting assaulted and sleeping in! Sleep has never been so beautiful.

let's go for a drive

I love road trips. I've made a couple of them and hope to do more...there's so much to see! Before I went to Indiana for college, I was definitely a California snob. I didn't think I would EVER leave the flawless, sunny, perfect state of California because surely, nothing could be better. Well, I surprised even myself when I started driving across the country and discovered that maybe there was more out there to see and that juuuuust maybe, I might love the midwest.

The first road trip I took was with my step-mom...a five-week drive from Escondido, CA to Washington DC and back. Whew...a looooooooong trip, but memorable. The Honda we were driving didn't have a working radio, so we used my CD player with some speakers. You say ghetto, I say creative! I even stuck my feet in the Atlantic Ocean just to say we'd been coast to coast. It was on this trip that I had my interview at Taylor University, which I was dreading, but ended up being SO good. So good that I gave up everything familiar in California to live in a new state, attending a university where I knew no one. Probably one of the most difficult and best choices I have made.

Driving to Taylor University to start college


At the gym where olympic athletes train


On our drive from Indiana to Florida for a missions trip during spring break


Driving back to Taylor from Tennesse after a backpacking trip


On our way from Taylor to California, with my little Saturn packed full of all my stuff


Stopping along the way for a Chargers game!


My first road trip from Taylor to Myrtle Beach with some friends


Second trip to Myrtle Beach in my poor little car


Reunited!

a reminder

Tonight I went out to Applebee's with two friends, Hannah and Cleaster. Our waitress was nice, but seemed somewhat distracted. After Cleaster commented to the waitress that she had a pretty name, the waitress said, "I wish I felt pretty tonight." Cleaster asked her what was wrong and the waitress said that her cousin had just hung himself tonight.

I was shocked and couldn't think of anything I felt appropriate to say. Though it seemed really bold of her to say that to complete strangers (much less, her customers), I wonder if she just really needed to share that tragic news with someone else.

We don't know what some people are going through. This was a reminder to me that I need to be more patient, more understanding. Maybe I should give people the benefit of a doubt before I decide that they are annoying because I'm being inconvenienced. Selfishness is so ugly.

things are different here

Last night I clocked off later than I have in a long time. We had a fifteen year old child screaming, "I'm evil! I'm evil!" over and over at bedtime, while all the other boys were trying to sleep. We helped him to another building, where he could scream and be loud without disturbing any other kids, while he continued to relentlessly yell "Evil! Bad! Wicked!"

I wonder how much of it is for attention and how much of it is due to serious mental disturbance. Putting aside our feelings of exhaustion and annoyance, we were patient with him, waiting out the two hours of broken record-like sentences. After he was able to go back to his room, he started saying "Oooow" in a kind of quiet, but I'm going to be a little loud to test the limits sort of voice. I went in and asked if he was in pain and if I could get him anything to make him feel better. His response?

"It's the smelllllllll. It smells bad...The smell of the kitchen is hurting my stomach."

Haha, seriously? I told him to maybe put his blanket over his face to mask the smell (that wasn't even there) and said goodnight. An interesting end to what had been a great day.

On another note, the other day I talked to my grandma, whom I haven't talked to (or seen) in forever! It was good to catch up. I felt really encouraged and supported. Here's a picture of me, my grandma and Michelle in '06.



Now this is completely random, but as I was looking through picture albums that my mom made, I came across this picture of my sister and just LOVE it. She looks so presh.


The kitty loves me.


Okay, done with the randomness. Thanks for reading :)

with love

I just realized that this will be my 100th post. I've been working on this video, as my mom has been on my mind recently. So with love, I will dedicate this post to her.



You are so missed.
♥♥♥

remember

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

2 Corinthians 12:9