Oooooooooooh, it's been a while since I've written anything of substance here. I guess lately I've been feeling like my life has turned into a monotonous routine packed full of boredom and predictability. Work, sleep, work, maybe hang out with the co-workers at 10:30pm after everyone gets off, sleep a few hours, work again...and so on and so forth. I miss the sponteneity of college life, sleeping in on weekends, going to church with friends on Sunday and then watching hours of football. I miss having meaningful relationships with people who are not 2,000 miles away and always having people around to hang out with. I want to be passionate again, to be challenged and to do something different.
Mentally, it has been so hard for me to take the first step toward change...toward making a decision that may be risky, toward stepping out of my comfort zone. I want something different and I really desire change, but I also don't. Though 60% of the time I am unsatisfied with where I am in life right now, it's easier to avoid the unknowns and potential difficulties that change may bring.
I feel like I'm at war with myself. My heart doesn't know what it wants.
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