up & up

We just got done with our staff training this morning. The CEO of Hillview came to give us some updates about what has been/will be going on with Hillview in the upcoming weeks and months. It was surprisingly positive and encouraging. It was cool to hear some good news after not knowing anything for so long. I'm prepared for the worst, but hoping for good things.

On another note, I hurt my left arm at work on Monday. I was holding a kid who was flailing around and fell pretty hard on my left hand. There was a grinding sound and my arm went dead for a minute. It freaked me out. I tried to shake it off, but even the next day, my arm would hurt when I moved it certain ways. I went to the doctor yesterday and he diagnosed it as a muscle strain. He gave me a heat and ice pack, Bengay type stuff and two pain meds that I'm not going to take. These doctors are ridiculous...they'll give out pain meds for a nosebleed. My arm is feeling a little better today and I'll be going in for a follow-up tomorrow. I'm hoping it's nothing serious and goes away soon because it's limiting my ability to be helpful!

Awww, getting drinks with my sister for her birthday. She was so embarassed about all the pictures I was taking.


The paparazzi never stop following me.


Jammmmmmmmmmba!

about me

I answered a bunch of really random questions. Why? Because why not. Sometimes it's fun to be in high school again.

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"him. 'Don't,' Alexander says. 'Judge is a service dog.'"

Before you started this survey, what were you doing?
Working - putting the kids to bed.

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I Love Lucy! A pick-me-up before I had to go back to work.

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The fridge humming and the lights buzzing. Ooh, that sounds kind of creepy.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
When I walked from the cottage I work in to the cottage I live in.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
They are nothing but white.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
I want to visit Australia. Can't say if I'd want to live there or not.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I would buy my way out of school debt! I would definitely buy a new car and use the money to move and live on my own.

Tell me something about you that most people don't know.
I like walking on the left side of people.

Do you like to dance?
Yes! I miss dancing.

What color is your bedroom carpet?
Chocolate brown.

What was the last thing you bought?
Scrapcooking stuff.

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Though I'd be scared half to death and it might take me forever and a day to jump, yes. I would.

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
Dang it. When can I get Starbucks?

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
I love Target, IKEA and Macy's. Can I have all three?

What time is bed time?
On a good day - 11:30pm. On an undisciplined day - as late as 2:00am.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
No and no thank you.

How many tattoos do you have?
None. I hate needles.

What did you do for your last birthday?
My best friend took me on a tour of the WB Studios, where a bunch of TV shows and movies are filmed. It was so fun.

What's the farthest-away place you've been?
The Bahamas. Yes please.

Have you ever won a trophy?
Yep. I won a lot of trophies when I did sports as a kid and then trophies in high school when I was on the dance team.

Are you a good cook?
Better than I used to be.

Do you know how to pump your own gas?
Oh my gosh, yes.

What's under your bed?
Two rolling tubs that hold my blankets and towels.

Think fast, what do you like right now?
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi.

What time do you get up?
When I work - at 7:00am. When I'm off - sometime around 10:00am.

What was the name of your first pet?
David, my mean fat cat that I loved.

How are you feeling right now?
Tired and needy.

What do you think about the most?
The demands of my job.

Do you sing in the shower?
Not so much anymore.

What do you do most when you are bored?
Scrapbook or go to Starbucks and read.

What do you do for a living?
Raise emotionally and physically abused children who have difficulties with their behavior and handling anger.

If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?
Mmm, perhaps a photographer.

How many keys on your key ring?
6

What kind of car do you drive?
A 2000 Saturn SC2.

What kind of books do you like to read?
Anything by Jodi Picoult and I also enjoy Donald Miller.

What is your favorite time of the day?
When the sun is setting.

Where did you grow up?
Escondido, California.

How far away from your birthplace do you live now?
About an hour and a half.

What are you reading now?
My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. So sad.

Are you a morning person or a night owl?
I used to be a huge morning person, but with the hours I now work, I think I've turned into a "night owl."

How many rings before you answer the phone?
A lot. I hate talking on the phone.

What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?
I have worked in retail, in a restaurant, watching children in my church's nursery and now a residential counselor at a group home.

What inspires you?
Passionate people.

all tied up

Oooooooooooh, it's been a while since I've written anything of substance here. I guess lately I've been feeling like my life has turned into a monotonous routine packed full of boredom and predictability. Work, sleep, work, maybe hang out with the co-workers at 10:30pm after everyone gets off, sleep a few hours, work again...and so on and so forth. I miss the sponteneity of college life, sleeping in on weekends, going to church with friends on Sunday and then watching hours of football. I miss having meaningful relationships with people who are not 2,000 miles away and always having people around to hang out with. I want to be passionate again, to be challenged and to do something different.

Mentally, it has been so hard for me to take the first step toward change...toward making a decision that may be risky, toward stepping out of my comfort zone. I want something different and I really desire change, but I also don't. Though 60% of the time I am unsatisfied with where I am in life right now, it's easier to avoid the unknowns and potential difficulties that change may bring.

I feel like I'm at war with myself. My heart doesn't know what it wants.

through the lens

While sitting outside with one of the boys, he started picking roses for me and throwing the petals up in the air to let the wind catch them


Pretty yellow rose with our playground in the background


He put these in my hair and wanted me to get a picture of them


He was not amused with all the funny faces I was making in the pictures and requested that I take one of myself smiling


Lincoln Logs with one of the boys


He very skeptically asked me, "Do YOU know how to play Lincoln Logs??"

good times, good friends

Here is part of what I did today. Productive? Probably not. Worth the time I wasted? Absolutely.

waterfalls, disney, and dancing

During the uncertainties of life here at Hillview, many of us houseparents have been spending a lot more time together. It is such a blessing to work with great people. I have been having WAY too many late nights, but the high-energy social activities that are going on almost every night now, help to soothe a stressed-out mind.

Last Tuesday, Tamara and I went with Mark and Nate on a hike at Eaton Canyon in Pasadena. Nate told us about the hike and I was hesitant to go, but the challenges of it sparked my curiosity and I decided to see what it was all about. It was intense, especially for someone who hadn't been active in tooooo long (dang it, I need to start working out). We had to climb up the side of a huge rock, walk across a three-foot wide ridge, scale the side of a rock while holding on for dear life lest you fall backwards and break a couple bones, climb almost straight down a "path" while holding on to a dog leash attached to a branch sticking out of the hill, and when we reached almost the end of the hike, we all slid off the top of a waterfall. Ah. I get nervous when I just think about it. I sat there at the top for a long while, contemplating if I really wanted to slide of the edge of a 30-foot drop. But I did!

Three days later, my legs are still sore, but at least I can walk normally now. I am out of shape. I need to get on that. Here are pictures!

After Mark went down the waterfall, I kept asking him questions about it. I had to be sure it was safe. [By the way, he posed like that in pretty much all of the pictures that were taken of him on this hike]


My turn down the waterfall. Ha, I was in shock when I hit the bottom. My poor little heart. But would I do it again? Yes.



Then last night, we hung out in one of the staff cottages playing Wii dance and Wii sing. Usually for game night, we'll play Spoons or Apples to Apples around the table, but it was fun to do something different last night. Wii sing Disney was a hit.

Enjoying the ridiculous singing and dancing


Nate and Mark performing the Tribal Dance


Mark and Cleaster singing "A Whole New World" with/to each other :)

apathy

I feel apathetic today...just blah.

BUT.

I would like to report that yesterday, I hung out with my sister and then went to see Erin in the evening. Erin and I sat around doing not much of anything for a while before deciding to take a spontaneous trip to Hermosa Beach to see some of her work friends. Okay, the neighborhoods in Hermosa have RIDICULOUS houses. What do these people DO to be able to afford houses like these?! One of these mansions even had a freaking bridge connecting the two parts of the house. We walked with Erin's dude friend down to the beach and then to a bar where the rest of her co-workers were hanging out. It was interesting. Not the type of scene that I'm used to, but it was fun to go out...do something different.

Also, I just realized that I'm working three full days because it's Labor Day weekend and the kids don't have school on Monday. Stupid holidays!! I will probably be working a little over 40 hours in these three days, which is good for my paycheck, but not good for my sanity. I've had too many late nights this past week and it's becoming impossible to catch up on my lack of sleep! Ah well.

I have some pictures that my sister and I took yesterday. I'll get some up later. I should have gone to bed an hour ago!