recently

Things:

♥ I can't help but get annoyed with those groups of high school kids that loiter around in inconvenient places. It is equally annoying when the high school"couples" do nothing but grope each other at these inconvenient PUBLIC places, where n o b o d y wants to see that.

♥ I bought season six of The Office for $15 at Target. A steal.

♥ Tomorrow I start my workout routine. Can I stick with it? So far, I haven't been able to exercise as consistently as I should, but this time...THIS time, I (hopefully) will.

♥ In one short week, I fly to Washington for 5 days to see Stephanie! I'm praying that I can also make some good connections with organizations that may be interested in hiring me or pointing me in some sort of direction. I need direction right now!

♥ I finally got my hair cut last week and it feels so much healthier.

♥ My room is clean after being RIDICULOUSLY messy for weeks and I've been really intentional about keeping it that way.

♥ I have been obsessed with slurpees recently, particularly a mixture of cola, cherry and blue raspberry flavors. SO good. And SO bad for me, I know. Why can't I crave healthy things, like carrots or apples?

♥ I bought a bunch of sweet stickers at Michaels today, to be used for my future scrapbooking projects.

♥ A new television show that I find myself (surprisingly) interested in is Alaska Wildlife Troopers. It's fascinating to hear about a state I don't really know anything about and to see all of its beautiful (freeeeeeeeezing) landscape. You should tune in. It's pretty educational and more wholesome than those ridiculous reality shows...(which I can't stop watching). Ooooh, the media.

And now, because I LOVE pictures, here are some random ones just because.

[super excited about celebrating my 18th birthday]


[freshman year of college at a football game...I really miss college]


[a cute moment while this boy enjoys his huge reptile book]


[the precious kids I babysat for around 8 years...enjoying a week camping with their family at Oceanside]


[aaaah, how I miss dancing in high school]


[my best friend from college during my freshman year...we left that banana on that window sill for MONTHS...these are the kinds of "fun" things that keep us occupied while attending a university in the middle of cornfields]


[Erin and I in the summer of 2008, enjoying breakfast at Mimi's and catching up with a friend from high school]

on my mind

It is amazing the influence that parents have on their children. I don't think I've realized until recently the incredible impact a mother/father has on a child, and the way that certain experiences with a parent can completely mold a child's future.

I see it on television. Those shows about women who "snap" and men who are extremely abusive have usually grown up in dangerous homes with distant and neglectful parents. Maybe it's weird of me to say, but I can feel compassion for these people that really don't know anything other than violence and hate. How can we expect children to grow up into productive and loving adults if no one shows them what that looks like? And the consequences of a bad parent-child relationship doesn't have to be extremely drastic. It can take the form of bad eating habits or a low self-esteem. But either way, it's really sad.

I see it in my kids. Almost all the boys (and previously, the girls) placed here have had disappointing relationships with their parents, if their parents have even been a part of their lives at all. Some of the children have what we call "mommy issues" and react negatively to the female staff. Some of the girls had men issues and became really uncomfortable or hostile around the male staff. There are the kids who are angry and acuse us of trying to take the place of their parents. Then there are the kids who have such a low self-worth and don't know how to appropriately interact with their peers. I saw that a lot with the young teenage girls that used to live here. They would engage in relationships with guys that showed any amount of attention to them, even if that attention was negative and disrespectful...because to them, negative attention was better than no attention. When I get frustrated with these kids and super impatient, I want to remember that I may be one of only a few positive people in their young lives.

I see it in myself. Now that I'm older, I can see how I've been affected by my relationship with my mom (or perhaps, the lack of it). I can see how I've been affected by my relationship with my step-mom and dad. Though I could never fully understand, I can empathize with the children who feel like they've been abandoned. I can understand how no one's love and acceptance can make up for the depressing rejection inflicted by the two people who should have loved them the most.

Tonight, I am reminded why I want to work with children and how important it is that trustworthy and compassionate adults take time to spend with the children that need them. I am reminded of the importance of family.

boo

I just wrote a long post on something completely random and when I tried to "publish" it, my computer decided to be mean to me. So bye-bye post. Maybe it was a sign that all my jabber really wasn't worth people reading. However, I will post this video. It is a simple video, with pictures of the two days Erin and I spent in Julian. I feel like pictures are so much more powerful and memory-evoking when they are put to music. So here you go.

video happiness

I meant to get these videos up earlier, but I couldn't figure out how to upload them from my phone. Well I did and here they are. These are from when I babysat Tess and Jack last Saturday, capturing some cute moments on video.

[Stephanie, I thought you especially would enjoy and appreciate these videos]

Tess loved looking at her books (the background music is one year old Jack pounding on a little piano) and she is able to talk so well! She was so cute looking through all her books and "reading" all the words.


I was trying to get her to name all the colors, but her favorite word/picture was "sippy cup." She was very excited to find that page.


Do you know how to make a taco shape with your tongue? I do and Tess was obsessed with it! She kept saying "taco!" and tried to grab my tongue every time I stuck it out. I was laughing hysterically at the way she kept saying "Taco! Taco!" Oh and by the way, it sounds like I'm yelling at her at one point, but I'm not. That was just my "keep the phone away from her, but still get this on video" voice. Sorry Tess. You know I love you!


This is Tess being such a girl and applying her tasty chapstick (yeah, ask Jack if it was tasty). She may have smeared a little across her cheek, but no big deal.


We watched Frosty the Snowman twice and I loved it because it gave me a break from chasing after two hyper little children. This is around 9:00pm and both of them were close to dozing off. I thought Jack was so cute watching Frosty and look at his little fingers tapping away.

my week

On Saturday the 15th, I watched Tess and another little boy named Jack. Tess is the daughter of some friends that I met through Hillview. I had forgotten how tiring it is to babysit two little children...they were running around non-stop, having a happy (loud) time together. But, it was fun to be with a different age group for a few hours...oh, and it was also cool to not be assaulted or anything. Thank you Tess for your innocence.

[she was so cute putting on her chapstick]


[she loved looking at books and listening to me read to her]


On Monday the 17th, I worked all day (because the kids were out of school). I was about to leave around 900pm and was just getting into my car to head to the gym, when I got a text saying that I was needed. I walked back to cottage and found the big room (or what is known in other households as the living room) looking like this: [see picture below] Except worse. Two children had thrown probably 5 or more decks of cards all over the room...each card thrown individually. There were game pieces EVERYWHERE and all the books and DVD's on the shelf had been thrown across the room as well. There were even cards soaking wet in the sink.

[The room was much messier than this picture...we were almost done cleaning by now. All but a couple decks of Skip-Bo had to be thrown away. What a waste]


[a co-worker sorting through the mess to save a few decks of cards]


On Tuesday the 18th, I discovered Picnik. It loads a little slowly on my computer, but I love the editing I can do with it. It is simple and easy to figure out, but can really change the look of a picture.

[before]


[after]


On Wednesday the 19th, I got together with a college friend of mine. Kayleigh and I had not spoken or seen each other in years, as our paths went different ways, but we recently reconnected and quickly planned to spend some time together. She went to IWU, which is about 20 minutes away from Taylor and we met while watching TU baseball games. Kayleigh ended up living in California and only half an hour away from me (well, without traffic...so probably add like 2,343,369 minutes). We met up at Miguel's in Corona for dinner and it was SO good to catch up with an old friend. It's cool how you can just pick up where you left off with some people. I'm thankful that we were able to share our lives with each other and we plan to hang out again soon.

[Kayleigh and I at the mall in the fall of 2007]


[in the spring of 2007]


On Friday the 21st, I was off and spent time with Hannah. I was supposed to get up and work out in the morning (yeeeeeeeeeah, that didn't happen). We went out for lunch at Chili's and then saw Due Date at the dollar theater in La Mirada. It was a movie I had been wanting to see for a while and for two dollars? Heck yeah!

[this might be the first picture I have of Hannah and I together...on our way to Sonics]


[Memorial Day at Hillview in 2010]


Today is Saturday and I worked, but we only had two boys in cottage because the rest were on visits. Soon after a late breakfast, another staff and I took these two boys to Prado Park to fish. It was beautiful outside and the park was so wide open and green. I am not a fan of fish or fishing, but it was nice to be outside enjoying the weather. And the boys were so great. Bonus.

[such a perfect day]


[This boy was so patient while trying to figure out his fishing pole hook thing. Too bad I was no help because I know absolutely nothing about fishing]


Sweet, sweet news! On February 9th, I will be visiting Stephanie in Washington! I have been meaning to take a vacation up there for so long, so I'm super happy it's finally happening. I'm calling it a productive vacation because it will be a good opportunity for me to look for more jobs and be available for companies to see me in person...not just an email that they (probably don't even) read. I'll be out there for five days and I'm way excited for the colder weather, the beautiful nature and the break from my job.

[Hillview's annual spring break day...our cottage was decorated as "Alice in Wonderland" and Step and I are enjoying the cupcakes we made]


[May 2010 in Hollywood. This is the day we were supposed to hike to the Hollywood sign, but definitely didn't happen because we got stuck in so much ridiculous traffic and had to be back at work in a few hours]


[my second time snowboarding at Snow Valley...I think the sun was in our eyes, haha]