goodbye

Well, I was wrong about Tuesday being my last day. The schedule was revised and I actually worked today. We only had two boys left on campus and I was under the impression that they were leaving in the late afternoon. It was a shock to get a text message at 800am saying they would be leaving at 900am. One hour. The last two boys on campus were leaving in one short hour and that meant that my time at Hillview was very quickly coming to an end.

I didn't expect to feel so sad, so emotional. We packed up the two boys and drove them to the Department of Social Services. We unloaded their stuff and left them in the hands of a social worker until they were driven off to their next placement. I felt so bad saying goodbye and walking away, knowing that the system is not kind. As much as I've been angry and frustrated and bitter, I was reassured of my humanity when I felt the sadness of saying goodbye to these two boys. I couldn't help but feel like I was abandoning them.

So there it is. My last day e v e r of working at Hillview. Two years and two months later, I am shocked that it ended like this. I think I am eager to move on to the next part of my life, but right now, I just feel sad. But that's okay. I think I'll let myself be sad for a little while.