This morning, I woke up to a very unpleasant surprise. I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready for work when I almost died. I started walking down the stairs and saw a huuuuuuuge spider on the wall. Blelasldfjifagha. I freaked out and ran back up the stairs into my room. Obvi. I started weighing my options, of which I quickly realized there were none because I couldn't leave the house without going downstairs [unleeeeess, I jump out the window onto the futon in our patio and over the fence...hmm, no, no]. Okay, I put on my brave face and ran downstairs. With my eyes almost closed because if I can't SEE the spider, it's not there.
I texted my brave roommate after I left and told her to save me from certain death by killing that damned spider. She couldn't find it, which now leaves me in a permanent state of anxiety that'll probably last for a few days until the stupid bug shows up again and gives me a heart attack. Something else ridiculous? I went to drop of my rent check after I left the house and almost ran into a spider hanging on it's stupid web. And THEN, I stopped to get gas and as I was stepping out of my car, there was a HUGE [and I mean, HUGE] bug on the ground below my foot. At a glance, it looked like a preying mantis or a dragonfly, but I almost slammed the door so quickly on my foot to speed off that I didn't get a good look at it. Seriously. It was not my morning.
Maybe someday I won't let spiders ruin my morning or keep me out of the bathroom for two days or make me waste an hour deciding if I'm brave enough to kill it. Maybe. But probably not.
You should read this. She gets me.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
the summer i took 2,022 pictures
The summer after my first year of college. When I still kept in touch with all of my high school friends and hung out with them as much as I could, realizing the difficulty of finding brand new friends when you go to a college 2,000 miles away.
[trips to Oceanside, wearing the same suit (really? we did that?)]
[hanging out in the street next to my house]
[Oceanside again]
[driving to Laguna Beach and getting lost forEVER looking for this school that we just HAD to find it after stumbling upon the show Laguna Beach while on our senior trip in DC]
[taking pictures in the mall and trying to re-create pictures we see in the stores and then having an older woman walk by and ask us if we want her to take our picture...cue laughing embarrassingly and saying no thanks as we try to walk away and pretend we weren't just doing that]
[taking the bus to the Del Mar Fair]
[celebrating the 4th of July on the Midway in San Diego]
[watching a movie with a bunch of random friends...I WISH I could remember what movie it was]
[wasting time playing dress up in ridiculous clothes because there's nothing else to do in Escondido]
[church with Erin every Sunday]
[distracting Erin while she was "cleaning" her room]
[being camp counselors at Hume Lake for high school freshman girls]
[jumping off Riley's roof into the pool]
[beautiful sunsets in Esondido (who would have thought?)]
[spending countless hours at our second home and first real job...and talking about it all the time, while getting yelled at by our other friends who didn't care]
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
putting it into perspective
I miss...
: first days of school
: high school projects
: being small enough to do this
: the innocence of childhood
: the cuteness of baby Kristen
It's easy to look back and wish things remained the way they were. I think about being a kid and worrying about nothing but taking care of my fish and eating popsicles in the bathtub and getting lots of presents for Christmas. I think about high school and the great group of friends I had and the homework that was nothing compared to college. Then I think about my college life and the freedom that came with it, the independence and being surrounded with people my own age that were working towards the same goal as me. It's easy to miss all of that stuff.
Yet now, as I've been graduated for two years and have been in the "working world," trying to figure out what my life should/will look like, I wonder what good parts of my life I'm missing by spending too much time in the past. Right now, it's easy to get caught up in all the responsibilities and bills that I have, or my challenging job, or the fact that I STILL don't have bedroom furniture even though we moved here three months ago! But I don't want to reach my thirties and only then realize the happy, memorable, challenging but stretching moments I had in my twenties. I want to cut the cycle. I don't want to miss out on what's happening now because I'm too caught up in what used to be.
Every day is a blessing.
: first days of school
: high school projects
: being small enough to do this
: the innocence of childhood
: the cuteness of baby Kristen
It's easy to look back and wish things remained the way they were. I think about being a kid and worrying about nothing but taking care of my fish and eating popsicles in the bathtub and getting lots of presents for Christmas. I think about high school and the great group of friends I had and the homework that was nothing compared to college. Then I think about my college life and the freedom that came with it, the independence and being surrounded with people my own age that were working towards the same goal as me. It's easy to miss all of that stuff.
Yet now, as I've been graduated for two years and have been in the "working world," trying to figure out what my life should/will look like, I wonder what good parts of my life I'm missing by spending too much time in the past. Right now, it's easy to get caught up in all the responsibilities and bills that I have, or my challenging job, or the fact that I STILL don't have bedroom furniture even though we moved here three months ago! But I don't want to reach my thirties and only then realize the happy, memorable, challenging but stretching moments I had in my twenties. I want to cut the cycle. I don't want to miss out on what's happening now because I'm too caught up in what used to be.
Every day is a blessing.
Friday, July 22, 2011
if you were here...
I would call you to talk about what was going on in my life. I would call for advice and for a listening ear. I would call just because you are my mother.
If you were here, I would make sure to end every conversation with I love you because I never want to regret not saying it enough.
If you were here, people would say that I sound like you when I laugh.
If you were here, I would tell you how beautiful you are and how much I look up to you simply because you are my mom, even though I'm sure you'd admit to having some regrets. I would ask to hear your story because there is still so much about you that I don't know. I would tell you how much I appreciate you. Moms don't hear that enough.
If you were here, I would tell you that I love chocolate-covered gummi bears, just like you.
If you were here, you would be 50 years old.
If you were here, we would reminisce about my childhood. You would remind me of embarassing moments, of funny and endearing memories. You would help me remember a part of my life that has turned into only a distant and hazy fog.
If you were here, I hope that I would make you proud of the woman I have become and all that I've accomplished. To hear you say I am proud of you would be the sweetest words.
I miss the mom you were, the mom you could have been.
Wish you were here.
If you were here, I would make sure to end every conversation with I love you because I never want to regret not saying it enough.
If you were here, people would say that I sound like you when I laugh.
If you were here, I would tell you how beautiful you are and how much I look up to you simply because you are my mom, even though I'm sure you'd admit to having some regrets. I would ask to hear your story because there is still so much about you that I don't know. I would tell you how much I appreciate you. Moms don't hear that enough.
If you were here, I would tell you that I love chocolate-covered gummi bears, just like you.
If you were here, you would be 50 years old.
If you were here, we would reminisce about my childhood. You would remind me of embarassing moments, of funny and endearing memories. You would help me remember a part of my life that has turned into only a distant and hazy fog.
If you were here, I hope that I would make you proud of the woman I have become and all that I've accomplished. To hear you say I am proud of you would be the sweetest words.
I miss the mom you were, the mom you could have been.
Wish you were here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)