if you were here...

I would call you to talk about what was going on in my life. I would call for advice and for a listening ear. I would call just because you are my mother.

If you were here, I would make sure to end every conversation with I love you because I never want to regret not saying it enough.

If you were here, people would say that I sound like you when I laugh.

If you were here, I would tell you how beautiful you are and how much I look up to you simply because you are my mom, even though I'm sure you'd admit to having some regrets. I would ask to hear your story because there is still so much about you that I don't know. I would tell you how much I appreciate you. Moms don't hear that enough.

If you were here, I would tell you that I love chocolate-covered gummi bears, just like you.

If you were here, you would be 50 years old.

If you were here, we would reminisce about my childhood. You would remind me of embarassing moments, of funny and endearing memories. You would help me remember a part of my life that has turned into only a distant and hazy fog.

If you were here, I hope that I would make you proud of the woman I have become and all that I've accomplished. To hear you say I am proud of you would be the sweetest words.

I miss the mom you were, the mom you could have been.

Wish you were here.