eggs, anyone?

After such a great week with the girls, there was bound to be a difficult day sprinkled in somewhere. Unfortunately, that happened to be today. After a 15-minute restraint with one unsafe child, I went back inside to deal with more chaos. One of our teenagers had raided the fridge and had several eggs cradled in her t-shirt. In the craziness of attempting to escort her outside, I got an egg violently thrown at my face.

It sounds funny and thinking back to it, I laugh. But the egg had been thrown from two feet away and hit me directly on my left cheekbone. It splattered immediately and I got egg in my hair, down my shirt, all over my face and even in my eye. I don't know the consequences of raw egg in the eye, but I wasn't about to find out. I rushed to the sink and started flushing out my eye as another staff was calling the police. I kept flushing my eye with water and I don't think any damage was done. I do have a slightly swollen and sore left cheekbone, though.

In staff training today, we briefly talked about our expectations of this job when we were first hired. One person said that he saw the good of this program and expected to unconditionally love and care for these kids without ever doubting why he was here. Ha. I remember that feeling and I also remember that expectation getting brutally crushed. People tell me I'm making a difference, that I'm changing lives. I pray that I'm doing something good because it is hard to keep discouragement from settling in and digging me a pity pool.

Ok, I can't think of a good, conclusive ending to this blog so I'll leave it be. I'm tired. Goodnight April 29th.

it's time

I don't know exactly when God moved several notches down on my priority list. Working the job that I am and the hours that I do, makes it so easy to make excuses. I don't have time to go to church because I work too much. I don't have time to read my Bible because I'm always so exhausted when I finally do have time to myself. I can't get involved in any church or small group activities because my work schedule is so inconsistent.

Hm. I've been thinking a lot about the things that are important to me. And recently, I've also been overwhelmed with how exhasuted I am and how emotionally spent I've felt. In certain moments, I feel like I can't continue. So how do I persevere when it feels like I have absolutely nothing left inside of me?

I want to invite God back into my life. I want to be broken so that He can pick up the pieces and start healing my heart. I want to rely on Him for all the things I need...for strength, for love, for the role of Father in my life. After being so prayer-less, I've started offering up small prayers and it reminds me that I am not in control. That is sometimes a scary thought, but it also brings relief to know that He goes before me.

It is going to be a slow process, I know, because I've let myself think that I can do it without Him for the past year.

It's time for a change.

good to me

After four days of working, I was off today. And it was spectacular. I got up around 900am and worked out (I even surprised myself with that one). I got all ready and then drove down to Escondido to see my sister.

We started driving...

To a park that that has a sweet artsy thing...


And then we ate lunch at Panda Express.


Then I went to see John and he had very cute pets.

We went on a hike. It was steep, but I ran the entire way up. Just kidding.


I got back to Hillview at 930pm...just enough time to post a blog before going to sleep. Goodnight Saturday. Thanks for being so good to me.

i miss...

...camping trips with friends


...my mom


...high school


...my favorite roommate, Allie


...Polar Pops!


...my kitty, David


...vacations in Myrtle Beach


...fall in the midwest


...being in love


...going to church


...these kids


...hanging out at my best friend's house


...snow in Indiana!


...dancing


...being in college


...these two lovely ladies


...my family


I'm feeling nostalgic today, and maybe a little bit sad. I miss the way things used to be.

holy cow, i'm 23

I can't believe I am approaching my mid-twenties!! I don't know where all the time went and when I grew up. Last year, I had been working at Hillview for only two months and have now been here for over a year! I'm looking forward to a year filled with new opportunities and change.

To celebrate today, Erin took me out. She didn't tell me what we were doing until we got there...she bought tickets for us to go on a VIP tour of the WB studios!! It was AWESOME and definitely made for a great 23rd birthday. At the beginning of the tour, we stopped at a museum that held the original costumes from different movies. A couple of memorable outfits: Heath Ledger's purple Joker suit, freaking Christian Bale's Batman armor suit, outfits and props from the movie Sweeney Todd, and an entire floor dedicated to Harry Potter.

We saw a lot of stuff...too much to write about, so here are some pictures :)

It's hard to see, but behind us is a painting of some WB characters


The Batmobile that George Clooney drove in Batman and Robin


OMG. Our favorite part...the original set of Friends!!


A set used in an episode of Friends


A scene from Rent was filmed here!


It was a good, good day. I'm so thankful for my friends and look forward to year 23 :)