two whole years

Wow. I am proud / surprised to say that I have been working at Hillview for two years today. TWO YEARS. I can't believe it. Looking back, it feels like the time has gone by so fast, but I know that in those seasons of stress and disappointment and frustration, time was dragging its feet. It's funny because one of my biggest fears in taking this job was the commitment of 1.5 years. I was scared of feeling trapped and having no freedom.

And yet, here I am, two years later (6 months more than my commitment!) and I did it...I'm doing it. To say I survived isn't accurate because although this job has been incredibly challenging, I have grown. Perhaps it's not the method with which I would choose to experience growth, but that's not the point. Whenever I leave this first "real-world job" of mine, I'll be proud to know that I left as a stronger, more independent, and confident person.

I love lists. So here is a very brief list of some things I have learned thanks to Hillview.

[one]
Illness travels v e r y quickly when you live/work so closely with other people. My body is proof of that right now.

[two]
I enjoy/connect with/prefer working with the girls rather than the boys and that surprises me.

[three]
Humor is sometimes the only way to get through a hard day, however inappropriate it may be at the time.

[four]
I tried meatloaf for the first time at this group home and it was, surprisingly, not as bad as I expected it to be.

[five]
SpongeBob. The cartoon that never goes away.

[six]
Eating comforts me. When I was up until midnight or later, supervising children who were running around like crazy people, I was constantly eating a lot of sugar-filled snacks because 1) it was available and 2) it was convenient. Now that I'm aware of this bad habit, my stress eating is more under control.

[seven]
Get along with your co-workers. Especially at a job like this, it is so important to communicate, understand, and compromise with your co-workers.

[eight]
I've learned to find things that I enjoy doing. Before, it was reading. Recently, it has been scrapbooking. When I'm not being ridiculously unhealthy, working out is a great stress reliever that I enjoy.

[nine]
I really, REALLY value my alone time. Sometimes too much. I have to be careful not to completely isolate myself because then it turns into self-inflicted loneliness and that is not a bueno feeling.

[ten]
Having thick skin is necessary, especially when you're being called all sorts of names and having insults thrown at you from angry adolescent children. Don't be UNaffected, but you can't let all that nastiness get to your head because that's what they want.

[eleven]
I feel old working with pre-teen/teenage kids and they make sure to let us know that THEY think we're old. I've had a child ask me what a cassette tape is and that same child also made the comment, "can you imagine what it would be like to have to get out of your car at the bank?" as I was driving through the ATM. It makes us houseparents sad to think that they can't appreciate GOOD childhood shows like Rugrats or The Flintstones or Care Bears. These children have ridiculous shows like iCarly and SpongeBob and Hannah Montana. Blech.

[twelve]
Expecting my frustrations and anxiety to be understood by people outside this job only sets myself up for disappointment. It's not necessarily their fault. They just don't get it.

[thirteen]
Jeans = dressing up.